‘Reading This Made Me Cry’: Users React to Ethan Slater’s Ex-wife’s ‘Devastating’ Article About Her Divorce

Dr. Lilly Jay, a clinical psychologist specializing in perinatal mental health, has shared a heartfelt essay detailing the profound impact of her public divorce from Ethan Slater. Her account explores the complexities of motherhood, career struggles, and the impact of her ex-husband’s new relationship with Ariana Grande, offering reflections that have deeply resonated with readers.

“No one gets married thinking they’ll get divorced, in the same way we don’t board a plane expecting to crash,” she wrote. Jay revealed how the breakdown of her marriage—shortly after the birth of their son—forced her to confront both personal heartbreak and professional challenges.

“I really never thought I would get divorced. Especially not just after giving birth to my first child and especially not in the shadow of my husband’s new relationship with a celebrity.”

Jay recounted the transformative experience of becoming a mother, describing her son’s arrival as a moment of unparalleled relief and joy. “When my baby was first placed on my chest, still tethered to me by his umbilical cord, I sobbed with relief. We had done it. He had arrived,” she shared.

After surviving preeclampsia, a life-threatening birth complication, she believed her family was finally whole. But the months following her son’s birth marked the beginning of an unexpected unraveling.

Despite her understanding of how vulnerable marriages can be in the postpartum period, Jay said she “confidently moved to another country with my 2-month-old baby and my husband to support his career.” However, amid the magic and mundanity of new motherhood, she admitted, “I didn’t understand the growing distance between us.”

Motherhood, Jay explained, became both a sanctuary and a space for processing her grief. While she cherished the quiet moments spent rocking her son to sleep, pushing his stroller, and marveling at his little hands gripping crayons, these hours also became an opportunity for her to grapple with the “sudden public downfall” of her marriage.

Over time, Jay shared that she had come to believe that even without the life she envisioned with her high-school sweetheart, a future filled with joy and sweetness awaits her and her child.

“Days with my son are sunny,” she emphasized, but darker moments emerge when reminders of her ex-husband’s life resurface. “Days when I can’t escape the promotion of a movie associated with the saddest days of my life are darker.”

Despite the challenges, Jay emphasized that their mutual love for their child remains a steadfast source of strength. While their partnership has evolved, their role as parents has not, with both continuing to love their son wholeheartedly, regardless of how their parenting time is shared.

Dr. Jay’s professional life as a therapist was built on maintaining strict personal boundaries, allowing her patients to feel connected through care rather than personal details. This balance was shattered by the publicity surrounding her divorce.

She noted that her anonymity at the Children’s Hospital had once served as a shield from difficult conversations with her patients, but the exposure of her private life brought new challenges tied to her unexpected visibility.

The public exposure brought professional challenges, including the loss of a job offer and the vanishing of potential patients after another tabloid cycle. “It’s hard to measure an absence, and I can’t say for sure how much my career has been impacted by what’s out there online,” Jay revealed.

She reflected on how her story might impact patients’ trust, likening it to asking, “Who would trust a cardiologist who had a heart attack?”

Despite her doubts, Jay chose to view her vulnerability as a potential strength rather than a weakness, noting that being seen as vulnerable could serve as a point of connection rather than a professional drawback.

In a powerful conclusion, Jay framed her story as a way to connect with those she has helped and continues to help. I’m sorry I can’t be invisible anymore (really, more than you know, I’m sorry),” she wrote in her December 19 account.

She reflected on the inherent strength of those navigating similar struggles. “Knowing what you now know, I can say with both personal and professional authority, you are so much stronger than you assume.”

Jay also encouraged readers to hold onto the qualities they cherish most in others, reminding them, “Some of what you loved most about your partner was actually your own goodness reflected back to you; it’s yours to keep and carry forward.”

She concluded with a poignant call to release fear and embrace the future. “I’d tell you (and myself) to let go of the worries — our anxious minds are creative but not particularly good guessers about the future.”

Jay’s essay has sparked an emotional response online. Many readers expressed their admiration and empathy for her story, while others criticized Slater.

On Reddit, one user wrote, “You can tell she’s intelligent and kind from her writing. So devastating. I hope Arianna breaks up with him soon and he’s known as a total loser. Probably by this time next year when press is all done.”

Another reflected, “‘Days when I can’t escape the promotion of a movie associated with the saddest days of my life are darker’ — this line. Oof [sic], I can’t imagine.”

“Me too. Reading this made me cry thinking how broken I would feel if I were in her shoes,”�a third user added. “So upsetting 😔,”�commented another. One more user praised Jay’s resilience, “What an amazing woman. I felt such sadness reading this but it was also so empowering. She’s gone through so much. Dr. Lilly Jay you are incredible.”

Another user added, “Such a beautiful article, it really brought tears to my eyes. You can feel the pain and suffering in her words. I hope she heals, she seems like an incredible soul.”

On X, a user simply remarked, “that piece from ethan slater’s ex wife is a devastating read wow [sic].”

The public unraveling of their relationship came to a head on July 26, 2023, when Slater filed for divorce from Jay in New York, as reported by TMZ. Legal documents obtained by the outlet did not specify the reason for the split, but the timing aligned with reports of his new relationship with Grande.

Grande, 31, and Slater, 32, began dating after meeting on the set of “Wicked.”�Sources close to the couple claimed both were single when their relationship started.

Slater, born on June 2, 1992, in Washington, D.C., is an actor and writer known for his work in “The SpongeBob Musical: Live on Stage!” (2019), “Fosse/Verdon” (2019), and “Wicked” (2024).

Slater’s role in “Wicked” places him alongside stars like Ariana Grande,�Cynthia Erivo,�and Michelle Yeoh, with the story exploring the bond between Elphaba, a misunderstood young woman, and Glinda, a popular girl at Shiz University.

By September 2023, Slater and Grande stepped out publicly as a couple, choosing Walt Disney World as their first public outing together. TMZ reported that they tried to remain inconspicuous, donning hats and hoodies, but fans quickly noticed them strolling arm in arm.

A source close to Grande revealed that the couple was “really happy together” and “really good for each other,” with the “Into You” singer’s friends expressing approval of the relationship.

While Slater and Grande’s relationship continues to make headlines, Dr. Jay’s reflections focus on her journey through motherhood, career challenges, and resilience, resonating with readers who have shared their empathy and support for her story.